The curse of the black dog

Of great interest to me is the seeming correlation between depression and intellect. That is not to say one must be intellectual to suffer from depression; and conversely being intellectual is not a guarantee of depression however there is an undeniable link. I should disclaim to you that I have no strong personal experience with depression so I speak from rational thought and observation.

If anyone has personal experience I would as always be delighted to hear from you in the comments section. There is quite a large amount of material on this subject on this matter on the internet, however I do not intend to summarise this – you can read this yourself if it is of interest. I intend to provide my own thought which will hopefully give you something new to read.

The inevitable end

From speaking with people I know of great intelligence a common theme seems to be that they spend a great deal of time thinking about the end. It is one of the most unhealthy human activities to think about death and yet it seems to be one that binds many of us. I think one thing that is common among all successful minds is an unrelenting need to go on for ever, to never set a final goal and to perpetually achieve. The inevitability and unshifting nature of the end makes it difficult to pursue this with true vigour. Have you ever been to a party when you spent a lot of the time thinking about when you have to leave? Have you ever tried to enjoy a holiday thinking about getting back home? The answer is you can’t and it is the same with life – it is impossible to appreciate the richness of life with one eye on the end. You have to keep both eyes facing now – so if this advice is so simple why can’t intellectual people follow it? Well the answer is simple – the intellectual mind can fool all minds but their own. It isn’t possible to live in the moment, unless you are naturally living in it; by which point the advice is redundant. There are steps one might take to help, but there is no cure.

When you think of the universe on a grader scale? Well the picture does not get any brighter. On a grander scale we know that if we cannot escape this universe there will come a time where everything human is removed from the universe and there will be nothing left for any civilisation to detect. If harnessed in the right way this will of course give you the motivation to behave like the freak you are; but harnessed the wrong way and this can remove any motivation you have at all. Perhaps I will get depression by the end of this article.

Frustration

Some of the most important and interesting questions known to mankind we cannot answer. We cannot tell you why we are here, we cannot tell you if there is other intelligent life in the universe. I mean we can only tell you about around 14bn years of cosmic history because the rest of it, well the light has not yet had time to reach us so who knows what is there. We don’t know if we are alone, or if there are hundreds of civilisations arrogantly considering themselves to be alone… We could be in one finite universe, one infinite universe, or one of an infinite series of finite universe. I can’t tell you what is inside a black hole, and I cannot tell you what the smallest building blocks of matter are. I can theorise, and draw on evidence – some of these questions I can come closer to answering than others but the truth remains I cannot tell you definitively (yet) and nor can anyone.

It feels a little bit like being cheated. If you have a mind sharp enough to pose these questions, it feels a little like you are being robbed of the most important information of all. As with all of these points there is a positive side to this, which is the reason why so many great minds are locked in a battle to understand the mysteries of the universe. That aside, it is terribly frustrating to be so aware of the questions that one needs to answer and to be so aware of the value the answers hold; yet be so fully aware of how far from the answers you are. This, I think is the source of so much discontent and unhappiness in the intellectual community.

Ignorance is bliss

This section is going to be really hard to write without exuding arrogance, so if you are easily offended you might want to skip it. But intelligent people tend to think deeper than others and they tend to have much greater levels of perception than others. But what really is perception? It is an awareness of something through your senses. Let us take a social scenario as an example. You may be talking to someone, someone you know and have no reason to doubt them. But then they do something strange; they look down and to the left when they are telling you something important. Maybe they cancel an event with you with an excuse that, after weighing up the known truths, seems improbable. The perceptive mind will notice these little things and they will mull on them. The ideas will multiply and become something more: now you have an unknown on the mind and you will grow this thought. The less perceptive mind would never have noticed this and would have simply moved on with life.

Whilst this might not seem like the a large issue these little stimuli multiply. They snowball, and before you know it you have 12 on your mind before you go to bed. It is of great importance to be able to shut off these thoughts and focus on what is truly going to add value to your life – if you cannot do this you will spend so much time stuck in worry that life will in truth become depressing.

What do other people think?

I spoke with one of my followers who has been suffering from such thoughts to try to understand this a little more – again without just robbing the internet and what I found is that even with intelligent minds there are things weighing down on our generation that were not on others. There are pressures on all young peopler – the pressures to look a certain way, perform a certain way and to act a certain way. But there is an intensifying effect now.

Take the days of Isaac Newton. How did Isaac Newton feel when his friend behaved inappropriately with a woman he had feelings for? How did Isaac Newton feel when his crush kept liking his best friends Facebook photos? You see my point. The internet is a blessing – we can upload and download huge volumes of information in seconds and have grown unthinkably more powerful because of it. But as with most good things there are negative side-effects and one of those side effects are the constant chipping away at people who are just trying to do the right thing.

So what is the answer?

How should I know? I am not even depressed. I know that a lot of this sounds like personal experience – and you wouldn’t be too far from the truth so let me enlighten you. Do I think about death? I am a human of course I do. But I don’t let it consume me. The second you accept the finite nature of what you have been given the better. There may be some that say “Okay, accepted” – this is not good enough. You have to accept it inside. You must be never ready to die and always prepared to.

How do I deal with the rest of it? Well I used to get terribly frustrated because I was becoming an accountant and not achieving the things I dreamed off as a child and of course I have fallen victim to spending trivial time scrolling through social media not using it for the right reasons. But science and mathematics are my salvation. Through these subjects I have quenched the nagging feelings that I am not achieving because I am moving forwards. My frustrations are channelled into personal satisfaction and achieving answers and from there the process is self-perpetuating for eternity. Each success propels to the next, the success is the fuel.

Blog News

very big thank-you to all my followers, new and old. I reached 500 followers yesterday – which was a mark I didn’t think I would read for some years and I really appreciate it.

 

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95 responses to “The curse of the black dog

  1. Congrats for the followers! That is a huge number!! Also nice post, it seems we are on the same, I think I also “accepted” the death though I will see what happens when I get older 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. When I was still single and had so much time in my hands, I always got depressed. Since I got married, and especially now that I have a 5-year old son who is on the spectrum, I am so busy that I don’t have time to feel depressed. I don’t know. I once said to a friend, and I don’t mean to offend anybody, depression is a luxury I can’t afford.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No offense taken but, to be sure, -depression is not a luxury nor a matter of too much time on one’s hands.
    There is a gigantic difference between feeling depressed/transitionally down and being depressed/having depression (acute and chronic).

    Liked by 1 person

    • And I also think you are right – I think the former point is often a case of too much time, and the latter is not – would you agree? I think the first is what leads so many young people today to label themselves depressed

      Like

      • When the point wraps up with “depression is not a luxury I can …”, it seems evident that there is a lack of knowledge/understanding of what depression actually is. That right there (not knowing/being unscathed and inexperienced) can be construed as luxury. Ignorance hurts and it leads to undue shaming and stigmas that can lead depression to deeper levels.
        This article/posting isn’t about someone in a bad mood and how that relates to/with intelligence. It’s about depression/depressed people and the link (to intelligence). Even with the disclaimer of “I don’t mean to offend” those (“depression is a luxury …”) are the types of statements that hurt and hinder. Depression is not a luxury, no one can “afford” depression and depression is not a choice. You cannot turn it on and off at will. It will pull you asunder no matter what is on your itinerary, no matter your class, age, marital standing, gender, education, race, religion, how many children you have or afflictions they may have, etc., and so forth.
        I am a 30+ year veteran of depression. I have a high I.Q., I wouldn’t call myself intelligent as I leave quite the wake of mistakes behind me as I go. But, I do think of death a lot. Rather I should say I used to. So much so that it even caused panic attacks, literal sweating and heart racing. I’d jump up out of bed, going all around turning on all the lights. I’d watch commercials, with shiny happy people and I’d think to myself “how can they be smiling? -they are going to die too” and other compulsive type thoughts all relating to the intolerable inconsistencies between the happiness I saw around me and the foreboding I felt.
        Nothing brought out the cynic inside me more, everyone and everything was secretly full of shit. I’d have traded anything to be ignorant. Envious of religious people too, they have a comfort I’ll never know, no matter how wrong (IMO) they are they get to live their life in a blissfully ignorant state. That’s luxury, not depression. Depression is more like not being able to hide from the stark truth chasing you down. Ultra-aware, too sensitive,
        Medications are not a cure and not (for me) an effective treatment, they tend to add to the misery (via side effects) so after short tryouts with them (Paxil, Neurontin, etc.,). It works for some, I won’t argue. I abandoned them altogether and use a combination of natural therapies (music, color, meditation, aroma, trigger avoidance, etc.,) to ride out the withdrawal that a chronic and cyclic depression takes.
        Sorry I waited so long to reply but I was waiting for the crowd to disperse before I wrote such a personal response. Your article is excellent, it really touched on a lot of truths and connections that I (and many, many others) deal with.
        Anywhoo, it’s old hat to me now (sort of) as I’ve mostly desensitized myself the morbid and compulsive impending-death thoughts.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you very much for your response and it is interesting to have such a personal viewpoint – this was indeed my hope, not just to write some thoughts based on observations but to then continue the research by gaining the thoughts of others who had personal experience. I suppose that all anyone tries to do when they look at a topic like this is draw out patterns and links; but it is of course important to remember that this is a line of best fit. It does not mean that everyone will lie on this line by any stretch, by definition there will be many deviations. I think there is just a real distinction between being unhappy and being depressed; I think it is universally accepted that young people overuse the word and the result is that we end up with a discredited word, which makes people take the issue less seriously

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  4. Congrats on 500 followers!
    I don’t really have any legitimate experience with depression, but it’s complicated and hard to explain I guess haha. I feel that people who think more about life (or just think more in general) usually become more intelligent because they exercise their “brain muscles” more. Maybe that’s why there’s the link between intelligence and depression, since (as I have experienced) the more you think about something, the more flaws you will see in that thing.
    And so the more you think and the more you analyze things, the darker your thoughts become. I don’t necessarily think that death or “the end” is always what people think about (though I’m sure that you are right in that many people do). To me, it seems like “intelligent” people often think about uncertain things in general, like the future or others’ perceptions and thoughts (especially what others think about them).
    I’m not very intelligent myself, but I feel that I tend to overanalyze things sometimes. It seems like intelligent people usually consider a lot of things (which makes them more successful and therefore more intelligent in the eyes of others). For example, “intelligent” people take into consideration a bunch of variables (or things that could go wrong) and therefore prevent those things from going wrong, thereby increasing their intelligence. This consideration of a multitude of variables, which are usually uncertain, leads to dark thoughts (especially when what is analyzed is something like the psyche of another person). With uncertain things, for me, it seems like my imagination just gets wilder and wilder, and worse and worse scenarios run through my mind the more I ponder. What’s sad is that, usually, the uncertainties and the over-analysis of things are seriously just unnecessary baggage.
    I really liked your post though, especially because it touched on something I am really interested in. Your post was really insightful! I never really thought about the whole Frustration aspect until now haha. Thanks~

    Like

    • Thank you very much! And perhaps you are more intelligent than you give yourself credit for if you overanalyse… that is inteed a trait of an intelligent person. Thank you for your comments they add some interesting perspectives – which is good because it means your thoughts and mind combine to give a fuller picture of the subject which is what this is all about. It is true that there is very little in life worth being depressed over like you rightly point out

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tell you what, there is something to what you say. However, there are more ways of being intelligent, that the one you write about. I think, the social and emotional intelligent have far less trouble with depression, than the conservatively called “intelligent”. Humans are apes with a huge frontal lobe and full of emotions. I think the trick is to clearly understand, that there is this biological side to us as well as this emotinal and social one, and give all of those sides the due attention. Otherwise you disbalance and might be prone to neurotic depression (unless you suffer from endogenous depression, which simply is a chemical disorder you can’t help without medication).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much! And yes I conceed there certainly are – for example the arts are an area of which I know very little – but where many geniuses lie, many of whom have taken their own lives. And you are right in what you say – if you don’t balance those things you may well end up going mad

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A very thought provoking post. I would not describe myself as depressed although I do find myself asking ‘what’s the point of it all?’ It seems that, just lately we have been offered, through programmes like Horizon, fantastic insights into cosmology, astrophysics via predictions and knowledge scientists, to date, have in their mental armouries. I’ve found that knowing our solar system is itself dying, or in danger of partial obliteration beforehand by, say, a collision with Andromeda, actually helps me accept the inevitability of death of everything. Conversely, I’m encouraged by the rebirth of things to form a new order and am not arrogant enough to think that humans will be around forever but who knows? I agree that having a personal agenda of purpose keeps the black dog from trespassing but it prowls the perimeters of everyone’s life, depending on personal circumstances. I’m not qualified to write on your subjects but am always willing to help if you ever need any. Have a good day 🌞

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for popping by and your very kind words – I really do appreciate it. The visuals we can get into the stars and the simulations we can make into the future have made science appealing to all – far more appealing than a textbook understood by students only. Of course there has always been a mass appeal, but I do think changes in technology has only intensified this. It sounds like you have a very healthy perspective on life which means you have a lot to teach. A very valid point that it is something that can happen to anyone

      Like

  7. First of all, Congratulations on the magic number!! My blog hit 250 yesterday which got me mighty excited. You must logically be twice as much!! 😀

    I’ve never been afraid of death. What bothers me is the way I’ll go. I want a quick and easy death, not looking gross and not seeing me or my loved ones wait for the ugly inevitable end.

    Like

    • Thank you very much! It certainly was a happy moment.

      And yes I can share your concerns – after all we all want to bow out with dignity, not crash out with no control

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi. I cant find your FB link. Pls add me if you can. Enjoyed this post a lot! It’s the same for when we are encouraged to love but also to stay detached. To be loving parents but to also let go of our kids. To live well and make life heavenly, but also to break free some day. Thnks!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Newton would have probably discovered the laws of human emotions and reactions..and we would have this subject a mandatory one in schools.. have many problems ,surprise tests and every causes and consequences of human emotions will have had been learnt.. I just think that way.
    Btw was a great read for at least the parts that I went through. But I can almost see where to look for when I have similar kinds of questions popping in the head.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for reading and your comments. Newtown was a funny one indeed – from what I have read he was obsessed with personal image and reputation – highly egotistical – but in fairness if anyone can justify it, it must be him right? There is a lot about the human brain we don’t know I agree it is most exciting. We still don’t really understand what happens in huge areas of it

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m in agreement with that take in depression and intellect. I see this in my son and others who suffer with it. Always seeking answers, more so than others. The inability to find the answers becomes a quest.
    Loved your piece

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I like your post bro.
    Depression is a very serious topic and it is a very famous youth in the huge number. I was also going into it so I can understand this. Your post is really good.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I really hope you don’t mind the lengthy reply, and I do appreciate that you pose the question despite not suffering from depression.
    Perhaps, it’s the “intelligent” mind (because not all persons who have high IQ suffer depression) that is the first yearn to “find” a purpose to existence. Perhaps a part of intelligence in a person is being able to see the patterns of events and behaviors, across history and based on experience, and, stopping to think about it, that person arrives at the conclusion that the pattern usually ends in a downward spiral: such as being betrayed in relationships or working yourself to the bone and enjoying it when you are already too old. It is true that having such thoughts do not permit people to live in the moment, which is very unfortunate. Because while they are in a happy moment, being depressed, they cannot appreciate its significance because of the inescapable certainty, that they believe – in their head and even in their hearts – that after the moment passes, the patterns are set to repeat. Perhaps this is why people suffering from depression cannot simply be pulled aside and asked to cherish the moment so easily, and be expected to be cured. Or look at a person who is so downtrodden and be prodded that that person deserves to feel “depressed,” not you. Perhaps, as opposed to just being sad, depressed people do not mind death, because it would be one clear break from the pattern. Depression is not sadness, I guess, that’s why depression can seep in even though nothing sad happened to you recently.
    Assuming that intelligence equates to seeing patterns, and an intelligent person really wishes to see purpose, while at the same time he is inextricable bound to put prime on facts and knowledge for validation of “what is,” he waits in vain, and go into depression where he cannot “see” purpose, or discern a break from the patterns that he sees and experiences. Perhaps it is the sole reliance on “knowledge,” meaning that which we can know and see and examine, and waiting for it to give us “meaning” that is the problem, and that which causes depression. Perhaps it is for the “intelligent” person to understand that assigning meaning and purpose is something that they could decide to do, rather than wait for the world to give them assignment and meaning – as if they’re scientists and life is an experiment – that could lessen the instances wherein we find “intelligent” people not being depressed.
    Sorry again for the length of the comment. Thank you, really, for the article 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not at all thank you very much for your reply, it makes the writing more worthwhile if people engage in it so no apology needed at all. I find your points interesting and certainly adds more depth to mine. I think that you make an interesting point around assigning life a meaning, I have done this in my own and it certainly is a great practice – it gives you a measure towards which you can mark your progress and a sense of satisfaction. I think the caveat to this however is you have to really believe in it. You can’t just decide something and pursue it because you think it is something you should. In your mind you have to really really want it. And I think that is where sometimes medical depression can creep in – if there isn’t much you really really want then life is very difficult indeed.

      Thank you again for your post I appriciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. “When you go to a party, you don’t spent a lot of time thinking when its time to leave”

    Hahahahaha love it!!! So true! Thank you for sharing I truly enjoyed reading…. But I’m not done gonna go finish it lol and um, really? Never been depressed huh? Hmm must be nice 😄

    I don’t believe in depression… I think the feeling of the self is a choice 😉😆

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wow! You are a funny individual lol I laughed the whole time. Loved it in afraid I have to read more 😀😀😀 however I’m at work. My business picks up a lot around this time, I’m at work… Why am I sharing this with you… Damn it, there I go thinking…. Never mind lol point is I’m busy… Question though…. So, how do you feel? Did you get depressed after you finished writing this blog? And congratulations on your 500 followers 😆😄😄😄😄 and last have a wonderful beautiful day

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I am glad you liked the post haha… What business is that? I feel great! I am doing my science right now with some German radio on in the background and it is sunny! No not at all my new number of followers kept me happy! Hope you are having a wonderful day

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Hello Joseph! 🙂
    Thank you for follow me and all likes.
    I like this article and you have interesting blog.

    Like

  16. Energy and light….. 👌😑 the power source, the very thing that started all and will end all as well… Oops… There I go theorizing again! Damn it, you were right.

    You know, now that you made me think about it, ‘ because us as blog writers, that’s what we do….. We think ‘ I am a very happy positive person. Even though I believe that emotions are a choice, what makes us human is just that, emotions. We are weak beings in the flesh, that at times there are events that take over us, almost as if we are being possessed by an overwhelming emotional demon… Now, could choice be the weapon to emotionally detach ourselves from feeling? If it is

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that the thing about choice is that you have to buy into it. So you can choose to say be happy if you believe that you will genuinley achieve it, but as a means to an end I think you are very unlikely to fool your brain. So in a sense I think that it is the answer but at the same time I think it’s not one everyone can just apply and be done with it!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I wasn’t done … My big fat thumb pressed send (I will choose to be frustrated while laughing at the sane time) 😬😬😬😬😂😂😂😂😂

    Where was I….. Oh yeah 😄😄😄😄
    That means we can literally walk around saying “I choose to be angry right now” or “I choose to feel jealous””I choose to feel sexy and seductive” I choose to feel sad so I’m gonna choose to cry” …

    How would people handle that? Lol wait but I think I’m getting off topic; 😒 am I!? Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hi Joseph, Thanks for visiting my blog and liking my post (Orchid Science, Orchid People). As for the question you pose above, at the beginning of the post, if you would like some absolutely amazing scientific insights into the correlation between high intelligence/genius and mental illness, take a look at Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire’s book “Wired to Create.” I guarantee you will love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for commenting how wonderful to have the input of someone so qualified as yourself! I will have a look at that for sure, looking forward to following your blog and twitter!

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re very welcome, Joseph. I’m not sure how “qualified” I am but I am obsessed with this stuff and have been reading and writing about it (in my journals) for years now. All of the stuff I want to write on my blog is in the journals – I’ve written over 1000 pages in the past 3 years. I will have to adapt it for the blog, but I’m so thrilled to have finally crossed the threshold of private to public writing. It’s very rewarding to find like-minded people like you through our writing – you give me courage. There aren’t many people who you’d meet on a day to day basis that like to think as deeply as we do – that’s why the internet is such a g-o-dsend for us.

        Liked by 1 person

      • How can you say you are not qualified after writing in so much depth around these subjects! It is great that you have broken out into the public – for me it is just being able to practice putting ideas down, developing my thoughts etc. Even if people think it is a load of crap – hearing that in itself is a rewarding and worthwhile experience. I agree with your comment on the internet, it gets a lot of bad press but when well harnessed it is for the good of us all.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks Joseph. For me the issue was overcoming perfectionism and the fear of criticism. It’s taken me many years to build up the courage I take from working desperately hard to really, truly feel that I have something worthwhile to share with others. That said – yes, I now feel comfortable just putting the ideas out there, as you said. And there will always be people who think what I say is crap. The difference is – I am no longer letting the fear of this stop me. I’ve finally figured out that the benefits to myself and others of putting my writing out there for anyone to see far outweigh the potential dissent. 😊

        Like

  19. Hey! From my personal experience, I really have to agree with you on the ‘what would people think’ part. I was once on the verge of depression mainly due to this very reason. But I guess it really did teach me a lesson n I hope am above it now. It felt really nice reading your post – a quite unique perspective and way interesting!😊Good job!!

    Like

  20. Beloved, I think that a lot of people are trained to “Fake it” in their day~to~day lives, be it behind the check out, the bar or somewhere else in the service industry. I don’t always think this is a bad thing if in fact we do it for ourselves, especially in front of the black dog. I find it can help and for me to dance when I don’t feel like it too.
    https://kindabexy.wordpress.com/2016/04/12/grin/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your reply, I think you are very much right…… Everyone very much has something to which the assign purpose and it really helps them. For me it is my academic study, which brings me a lot of joy!

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome, I find great pleasure in being told I am helpful (I’m not always helpful, sometimes I’m just a bloody handful!)

        Like

  21. As always, a very interesting post…and an opinion with which I am in total agreement…so much so that, considering all the other comments you have received, my 2c are really unnecessary!

    This one is also bookmarked and will be referenced often!

    You’re having a great run here…I’m awfully glad I wound up on your site so many months ago!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. ‘Perhaps I will get depression by the end of this article.’

    How did you go with that? 😛

    Also, a mathematician and physicist working as an accountant? Why – money? Or just an opportunity that came first?

    Good post ( :

    Liked by 1 person

    • I managed to avoid it just but it was touch and go! No more a non-linear path of discovery. I started with Mathematics and Economics and realised my fascination and natural ability lay with the sciences far later on. So, in a sense yes money as without my job I couldn’t eat or do my current degree!

      Liked by 2 people

  23. Joseph, everyone on Earth has a Spirit/Soul and every Spirit came from God and after we die everyone’s Spirit will go back to God. Every Spirit is eternal, for the Spirit there is no end.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. (The comment by oldpoet56…an opinion so relevent to chapter 1 of my novel; although the book is not a study on theolgy (it’s a work of fiction), theological and spiritual concepts are incorporated within!)

    Like

  25. Congrats on the followers! I am just getting started myself…
    I loved this post. It was very thought provoking and I connected with it in many ways. I’d love for you to read my stuff as I start this adventure of blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Tough theme, great way to handle it. I have heard (and had) experiences of this kind, so I can find myself in all of those pesky contemplations about the absolute meaning of everything. Few of the things that helped me most are: love (towards yourself and said Universe, for when we love something we accept it unconditionally, so there is no need for overthinking), humor (lots, and lots of laughs – it’s okay to pretend at first, it can be tough sometimes to move those atrophied muscles), creativity and work (keep yourself busy, learn something new…and so on, as you’ve said it already). So, those things worked for me, I hope they will for someone else, too. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Well written, I must say. Well, I feel I had an acquaintance with depression for the first time when I was 16. And later in I had major bouts of the same. Last three years have been especially hard. Feel free to ask anything you would about it, I don’t mind volunteering, if it helps us both arrive at new conclusions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What specifically has there been that has made the last three years so difficult, compared to the one preceding that? Great to hear from you and to see you are still battling on.

      Like

      • Divorce, or rather separation. I had read somewhere some years ago that marriage is one of the most stressful things in life. On number two was divorce. I experienced both in a relatively short period of time.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow yes that really must have been a difficult time – but do you feel any better now you are through the other side?

        Like

      • Well, it gets better eventually. But obviously takes some time. Though I must say I still have some pretty depressive days once in a while. And there is no control over how I feel or how it all of a sudden feels. It’s like a sudden rush of bad feelings for no reason. Though on the other hand, I’m much better than what I was two years ago.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow that sounds very difficult, I am very sorry to hear that – but I think the fact that you can talk about it says a lot about you, and the more you do it the better you will feel I am sure of it… not that it will ever be easy I know

        Like

  28. Pingback: The curse of the black dog – PHILOSOPHY CORNER·

  29. Pingback: The curse of the black dog — Rationalising The Universe – The Frantic Poet·

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